I am X because I am Y.

This morning, I attended what Anamaria from L&D Shakers called a fireside chat about navigating new career landscapes. There were a lot of insightful ideas tossed around, but one in particular stuck with me. When Milly from Generalist World brought up the "I am X because I am Y" framework, something clicked.

For people like me, working in conflict transformation and problem-solving, identity is huge. It’s not just a label; it's the accumulation of who we are, our past, how we see and interpret reality. At the core of every conflict lies what the Germans call Weltanschauung—our unique lens on the world. None of us are just one thing. We’re complex, layered creatures.

So, I tried this exercise on myself. I’m a facilitator now, sure. But how did I get here? Where did I actually learn the skills that make me a facilitator? High school? I doubt ancient Greek class did the trick. Or did it? University, maybe? Possibly. And what about guitar? Surely, playing in public is just a hobby—not part of my profession. But actually, I realized, it does have something to do with it. So here’s what came out of my reflection.

I am a facilitator because I am a project manager.
As a project manager, I learned how vital clear goals, planning, and resource alignment are for hitting any target. I bring that same sense of structure to facilitation. With a good plan and some focus, I make it easy for groups to stay on track without getting bogged down. Managing projects has taught me how to break down big challenges into bite-sized steps, making the whole process feel a lot smoother. I keep groups moving, focused on what matters, and making progress, one step at a time.

I am a facilitator because I am a parent.
Parenting taught me patience, flexibility, and how to see things from different angles—qualities that are gold in facilitation. Just like I guide my kid through challenges, giving them room to explore but with a bit of gentle guidance, I do the same for teams. My experience as a parent gives me a knack for creating a safe, trusting space where everyone feels comfortable sharing ideas and trying out solutions. It’s all about fostering growth and encouraging people to discover their best selves.

I am a facilitator because I thrive in conflict.
Conflict doesn’t scare me—it’s actually where things can get really interesting. I see it as a chance for growth and new perspectives. Over time, I’ve learned how to navigate tough conversations and turn them into productive dialogue. By creating an open, safe space, I help groups tackle their differences and find some common ground. The best part? This process not only smooths out tensions but often brings people closer together. Turning conflict into collaboration is where I really hit my stride.

I am a facilitator because I am a musician.
Music has shown me the power of collaboration, creativity, and going with the flow. Every performance is a team effort, with everyone listening, adapting, and coming together to make something great. That same mindset is how I approach facilitation: encouraging people to share their ideas, while keeping a good rhythm in the room. Just like in music, where everyone’s voice matters, I create an environment where different perspectives blend into something innovative and meaningful.

Try this exercise on yourself, it’s powerful!

Thanks Milly!!